Deadpool 2

Deadpool 2 was extremely anticipated. It’s fair to sa

Okay. Be quiet over there, all tied up. I know you like it – I can tell. Where’s the delete key? Fhmk it. Ouch. Slipped. Trigger finger.

So, there’s this sequel, right? Deadpool 2. It’s like the rebellious teenager of superhero films. It thumbs its nose at conventions, flips off gravity, and rides a unicorn into battle.

First off, it’s distributed by 20th Century Fox, which is basically the studio equivalent of that one friend who always brings the party. And guess what? It’s the eleventh installment in the X-Men film series. Yeah, they’ve made more X-Men movies than there are flavours at Baskin-Robbins.

Our fearless anti-hero, Me (played by that one and only hunk Ryan Reynolds), is back in action. I’m like if Spider-Man had a love child with a chainsaw. And this time, I’m forming the X-Force — a ragtag group of misfits who make the Avengers look like a bunch of accountants at a tax seminar.

Why? Well, there’s this young mutant kid, and he’s got more problems than a math test on a Monday morning. Enter Cable (Josh Brolin), a time-traveling cyborg with a bionic arm and a serious case of resting grumpy face. He’s like the Terminator, but with a subscription to “People” magazine.

But wait, there’s more! Yours truly breaks the fourth wall so often, it’s practically a revolving door. I winks at the audience like a flirty bartender, and my jokes always hit harder than a piñata at a sugar-fuelled birthday party.

And the action? Explosions, flips, and more slow-motion shots than a shampoo commercial. It’s like I put the entire stunt team on Red Bull and set them loose in a fireworks factory.

Not only did it outgross its predecessor (which is like beating your own high score in a video game), but it also held the title of the highest-grossing R-rated film at the time. That’s right, folks, it’s like Titanic, but with more F-bombs and fewer icebergs.

Critics loved it. They praised the humour, the cast (I, in particular, bring my A-game), the story, and the action sequences. It’s like they dipped their pens in unicorn tears and wrote glowing reviews.

So there you have it: Deadpool 2. It’s the cinematic equivalent of doing a cannonball into a pool of gasoline while wearing a Deadpool mask and then pounding the night away to a Celine Dion soundtrack. And honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Would you?

WOULD YOU?

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the merc with a mouth back for another round of “How Deadpool Got His Groove Back.” So, for two whole years, yours truly has been the spandex nightmare haunting the dreams of every low-life and mobster. But, oopsie-daisy, on my anniversary, I kinda, sorta, maybe botched an assassination. Who knew that would lead to a domino effect ending with Vanessa biting the big one? My response? A classic revenge kill, because nothing says “I love you” like a bullet to the brain.

Fast forward six weeks, and I’m swimming in a pool of self-pity, ignoring Blind Al’s Yoda-like wisdom for the sweet embrace of a self-inflicted kaboom. But death’s not ready for this jelly, and Vanessa’s ghostly pep talks keep me hanging on. Then big, shiny, and metallic Colossus drags my sorry butt to the X-Mansion for a dose of mutant group therapy. And all I’ve got to remember Vanessa by is a Skee-Ball token – because nothing screams romance like arcade prizes.

So there I am, sulking in Xavier’s School for Hormonally Challenged Teens, when I’m guilt-tripped into playing superhero with the X-Men. Mission numero uno? A standoff with a fiery teen, Russell Collins, at the world’s sketchiest “Mutant Re-education Centre.” Kid’s got a chip on his shoulder and a couple of bruises to match, so I do what I do best – go full Deadpool on the abusers. The prize? A shiny new power-dampening collar, just like Russell’s. It’s off to the Ice Box for us, the coolest timeout corner for mutants.

Enter Cable, the time-traveling cyborg with a grudge and a gun, aiming to put young Russell in his crosshairs. Amidst the chaos, he swipes Vanessa’s token, and I, in a moment of pure cinematic brilliance, drag him out of the Ice Box in a blaze of glory. But not before Russell sees me acting all “I couldn’t care less.” Cue my near-death experience and a heavenly pep talk from Vanessa, pushing me to save the kid.

Time to assemble X-Force, the most eclectic band of misfits since… well, the X-Men. Our grand entrance? Skydiving with style – except most of us don’t stick the landing. It’s down to me and Domino, the chick who’s luckier than a four-leaf clover in a pot of gold. Meanwhile, Russell’s made a new BFF in Juggernaut, and they’re off to give the headmaster a taste of his own medicine.

As I’m regenerating from being Juggernaut’s latest chew toy, Cable offers an olive branch to prevent Russell’s turn to the dark side. I agree, hoping for a chit-chat to change the kid’s mind. But at the orphanage, it’s mayhem. Juggernaut’s throwing down, Russell’s on a revenge trip, and Colossus is fashionably late. My attempt at a heart-to-heart fails, Cable takes aim, and I do my best impression of a hero, taking a bullet for the team. My dramatic sacrifice changes Russell’s heart, and Cable, not wanting to be outdone in the hero department, rewinds time to save my bacon.

In the end, Cable decides to stick around, probably to keep an eye on me (can’t blame him), and the headmaster? Let’s just say he gets a five-star ride to the afterlife, courtesy of Dopinder’s taxi service.

And for the cherry on top, Negasonic Teenage Warhead and her sidekick Yukio play tech support, fixing Cable’s gizmo and giving me a shot at time-travel shenanigans. I save Vanessa, recruit Peter for his stunning lack of skills, and clean up my own timeline – bye-bye, Baraka-mouth Deadpool and Ryan Reynolds with his career-ending ‘Green Lantern’ script. You’re welcome, universe.

(1) To pitch his suicidal intentions, Wade has a trophy with ‘LOGAN’ on it and a Wolverine action figure impaled on a tree. He also complains about copyright protection and claims Logan plagiarised his first solo outing.

(2) Vanessa died in Weapon X – The Draft: Agent Zero #1, murdered by Sabretooth. When she dies in the movie, the lighting in the scene makes her skin appear blue like her comic counterpart.

(3) According to the writers and producers of the film, Yukio is supposed to be the same character from The Wolverine, just in the revised timeline. Her powers now resemble those of Surge, the similarly-named Noriko Ashida from New X-Men.

(4) While using Xavier’s wheelchair to explore the mansion, Deadpool complains about the lack of X-Men. He refers to Angel as ‘pigeon wings’ and, in a brief moment, the X-Men team from Dark Phoenix (Charles, Beast, Quicksilver, Nightcrawler, Cyclops and Storm) pull a door closed to avoid him. He also plays with the Cerebro helmet and claims it smells like Patrick Stewart.

(5) Cable’s future looks like it did in the animated episode Time Fugitives, in which he travels back in time to save his future. He has his techno-organic arm and his eyes flash, just like his comics parallel.

(6) The Essex Orphanage for Mutant Rehabilitation is clearly a front for the previous mentioned Essex Corporation. Essex implies Mr. Sinister, who in the comics had a base under a Nebraskan orphanage where he secretly observed a young Scott Summers.

(7) Several anti-mutant agencies appear in this movie with similar acronyms: D.M.C. (Department of Mutant Containment), the U.M.C. (presumably Unit for Mutant Control) and M.R.D., known to Wolverine and the X-Men fans as the Mutant Response Division.

(8) Russell “Rusty” Collins is a Navy sailor in X-Factor #1, who accidentally kills a girl with his powers. He’s arrested and flees, coming to the attention of original X-Men, X-Factor. In this version, he’s in an orphanage – much as he was in the animated episode No Mutant is an Island.

(9) Reporter Irene Merryweather is a member of Cable’s supporting cast. First appearing in Cable #48, she was the one person Cable trusted to chronicle his life in the present day. She was killed in Despicable Deadpool #292 – by Deadpool.

(10) The Ice Box is a superhuman prison in Canada, that first appeared in Maverick #8. Comic-book fans may recognise Sluggo and Omega Red from the comics. Sluggo in particular is part of Deadpool’s rogue’s gallery from X-Force #22. Long-time villains Black Tom Cassidy and Juggernaut are also inmates.

(11) Cable uses plasma grenades similar to the ones in this movie in X-Men ‘97. He uses his telekinesis to move his weapons. Cable and Deadpool have a long standing ‘association’ in the comics, beginning in their first appearances in the closing issues of New Mutants to their own self-titled team-up series which ran for 50 issues!

(12) Domino first appeared in New Mutants #98, alongside Wade. Except it wasn’t her: Copycat, aka Vanessa, stole her identity, and the real Domino was not revealed until X-Force #11. In the comics, she’s one of Cable’s closest allies. How close? They share a bathtub.

(13) The auditionees for X-Force are all from the comics. Bedlam first appeared in X-Force #82; Zeitgeist, acid vomit and all is from the celebrity-parody X-Statix; Shatterstar, who hails from the interdimensional Mojoverse, also first appeared in New Mutants #98, alongside Wade; The Vanisher, from Uncanny X-Men #2 makes a small unseen appearance – played by Brad Pitt.

(14) Moustached Peter W. appears to be loosely based on Pete Wisdom of Excalibur and MI-5 in the comics. His picture resembles his comics counterpart, although in this film he has no super powers.

(15) Wade references Juggernaut’s appearances in Uncanny X-Men #183, Thor #411 and X-Men Unlimited #12. The two fought in Deadpool’s first mini series, The Circle Chase. Juggernaut mentions his helmet stopping his wheel-chair bound brother, referring to Charles. He was also being escorted by convoy in his last on-screen appearance in X-Men: The Last Stand.

(16) Colossus versus the Juggernaut is a classic X-Men match – from the aforementioned #183. Colossus also uses his comic book catchphrase of “Bozhe Moi”, Russian for “Oh My God.”

(17) When he’s been flash-fried by Russell, Deadpool’s red uniform, charred to grey, resembles his X-Force uniform from X-Force #1. In a case of dramatic irony, their first mission: to kill a child.

(18) Cable projects his mind back in time to save Deadpool’s life, similar to the technique Kitty Pryde uses in X-Men: Days of Future Past. In the comics, Cable’s sister, Rachel Summers does this in the original version. Cable daughter is named Hope, after his adopted daughter in the comic books from Messiah Complex onwards.

(19) Wade travels back in time and changes events so that the majority of this film never actually happens: he saves Vanessa and Peter from death. He also travels to the final act of X-Men Origins: Wolverine and shoots that version of Deadpool before the story can conclude. He calls it “cleaning up the timeline.” The Time Variance Authority may have something to say about that in future appearances…

(20) He’s at it again, with a multitude of references to the real and comic driven worlds:

The opening credits feature ‘Ashes’ by Deadpool’s fellow Canadian, Celine Dion. In the music video he dances behind her in high-heels. When he asks her to sing the song again, only softer, Dion explains that her voice ‘only goes to 11. So beat it, Spider-Man!’ He then wishes he could have signed up boyband NSync, heard in X2 and Deadpool & Wolverine.

Cable’s gun re-charging makes the same sound used when the Terminator enters the hospital in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Wade even refers to Cable as John Connor at one point and fires bullets at him: which sound like the drumbeats in the Terminator franchise’s theme. Deadpool also calls him ‘One-Eyed Willy’, a reference to Cable actor John Brolin’s role as big brother Brand in the 80’s movie The Goonies.

Deadpool signs a box of cereal named ‘Hero Flakes.’ The box features an image of Wolverine and he signs it ‘Ryan Reynolds’.

Wade makes meta references to Hawkeye’s aim, the Winter Soldier’s bionic arm and calls Domino ‘Black Black Widow’. He also claims Cable is too dark and inquires if he’s from the DC universe. He also claims to be Batman, a la Michael Keaton in Tim Burton’s 1989 masterpiece of the same name.

Deadpool tries the phrase “the sun’s getting real low” to calm the Juggernaut – it’s the same phrase Black Widow uses to calm the Hulk down in Avengers: Age of Ultron.

In an effort to create a perfect timeline for himself, Wade travels outside of the timeline and assassinates actor Ryan Reynolds to prevent him from making the ill-received Green Lantern film.

X-MAN, BABY!

Ah, the tangled web of X-Men continuity! Buckle up, true believers, because I’m about to break it down like a fourth wall that just won’t stay put.

So, there’s this little thing called Days of Future Past. It’s like the ultimate cosmic retcon, where Wolverine gets to play time-traveling matchmaker. Thanks to that, we’ve got a fresh timeline, and suddenly, I’m part of the X-Men universe. But not just any part — I’m the chimichanga-flavored cherry on top.

Now, let’s talk about yours truly, Wade Wilson. You might remember me from that other movie, the one where they sewed my mouth shut. Yeah, that’s right, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But guess what? That version of me? Total imposter. The real deal is the one who breaks the fourth wall, cracks jokes, and looks damn good in red spandex. That’s me, baby!

Enter Colossus. Big, shiny, and more talkative than a parrot on a caffeine binge. In Deadpool, he’s like the X-Men’s babysitter, trying to recruit me for Xavier’s school. But here’s the kicker: Colossus has continuity issues. He’s been through more reboots than a Windows update. One minute he’s all metal and stoic, the next he’s cracking dad jokes. It’s like he’s got a subscription to the Multiverse Monthly.

And Professor X? Yeah, he’s mentioned, but no cameo. Probably too busy polishing his bald head or playing chess with Magneto. Meanwhile, I’m over here, slicing bad guys and dropping F-bombs like they’re hot potatoes. Priorities, Charles. Priorities.

Unlike the MCU, where they treat continuity like it’s the Holy Grail, Deadpool embraces the chaos. We’ve got plot holes big enough to drive a taco truck through, and we’re loving every minute of it. Because why be serious when you can be Deadpool?

So, in summary: I’m not an official X-Men member, but I’ve got a VIP pass to the mutant shenanigans. Colossus and I? We’re like the odd couple – metal meets mouthy. And the meta-awareness? It’s like having a backstage pass to the greatest show on Earth. See what I did there?

So, raise your chimichangas, folks, and let’s keep this timeline wackier than a Deadpool movie marathon! 🎉🔥🍻